CHARLIE TIME February 17- April 11, 2015

As I write about our two months returning to California, I never realized the outcome would be so different from the plans we'd originally made. Our general idea was to head back for about five weeks to see Charlie again.  He'd been having good results from his three chemo treatments and we just wanted to see him again...figuring we'd come out every couple of months. We also planned to go to San Luis for a week to see friends and from there make a trip to Mexico to spend a few days with Paul's sister in Guadalajara. Plus my brother Kurt had asked Paul to work on a remodel project in Boulder on our way back. As is typical for us, we always try squeezing lots to do during our time on the west coast. So, with all that in place, I made all our flight reservations and set out for California. 

We had quite an adventure on our flight west from Jacksonville to SFO; overbooked flights, free flight vouchers for giving up our seats, watching our plane being de-iced in Charlotte and still getting to San Francisco only two hours later than scheduled.   It felt good to be back in California's  warm sunny days.

 
But things were not to be as we had planned or hoped. When we arrived in Healdsburg we learned that Charlie's treatments were no longer having any affect on his cancer and he had stopped the chemo just that week. I don't think I really understood what that meant to any of us. But as the days went along I realized our plans would be changing. I cancelled the trip to San Luis and we just stayed with Charlie, Mary and their kids. He was feeling good those first two weeks we were there; the chemo was getting out of his system, he had more energy and wanted to be doing things. But it also meant there was nothing stopping the spread of the disease.


We loved spending days in the yard behind our RV on this wonderful swing we had found at Goodwill... and just talking or not talking. The grassy field around us surrounded by trees made a quiet and secluded area. 

 On other days he and Paul worked on things he wanted to get done.

 The following week we unhooked the RV and took Charlie and Mary for a trip to Bodega Bay in our moveable home, so he could cast his line into the bay and enjoy a day away from home. Chilly out there but so pretty. As the wind picked up and really began to blow, we put away the fishing gear and drove back into Guerneville for a surprise dinner at their favorite restaurant, Chef Rick's. A wonderful evening together, laughing, tasting a fabulous French dinner and sharing wines. Such a wonderful day together.

After three weeks in Healdsburg, we decided to go ahead with our visit to Mexico to visit MarLyn. I tried to make changes to those tickets but "non-refundable" meant exactly that and changes weren't possible. Thank goodness all my other flight reservations had been made with Southwest, my new most favorite airline! Easy to reschedule with no penalties. And reschedule I did often at this point.

MarLyn and Randy had moved to a new home since our last visit and it was fun to see their new neighborhood. They are very happy with their decision 2 years ago to move to the tiny village of Ajijic, along Lake Chapala. The photo above was the view from our bedroom deck. Bright sunny days, and warm temps, just wonderful. We walked the neighborhood, visited the markets, ate at fabulous restaurants and had some dental work done.  All that in only five days!

 A stop at a small market to pick up some items one afternoon we found this man sharpening knives  on the sidewalk.

One of my favorite days was a drive into Guadalajara to visit nearby Tlaquepaque.  A beautiful historic center with colonial-era churches, old mansions and colorful buildings and flowers. I loved it all!

MarLyn and Randy taking a break

 We found this darling small cafe in the back of a shop, and stopped for an afternoon iced coffee.

Then a late lunch with the all female Mariachi Band performing at El Patio Restaurant. While eating and listening we also watched a potter creating some sculptures.  

 Our days went by quickly but before leaving Paul had two things he wanted to do.  First was get his haircut and second was a visit to the dentist. His dental work turned out to be a little more involved than we had thought which also changed our plans for returning to California.

 So, instead of both of us flying back to LAX, I flew alone while Paul stayed another five days with his sister. I picked up our car at the airport and drove as far as San Luis for the night and back on the road early the next morning for drive back to Healdsburg.
 I spent the next five days with Charlie and Mary just helping out with more time together, before flying out to Boulder to meet up with Paul for five days of renovation
 work.

 Our niece, Neevie, was home from San Francisco for a few days so we had the extra fun of spending time with her, plus her sister Mia was now living in Boulder so we had the two of them together for the few days we were there.

By now it was mid March and we wanted to get back to SF spending more time with Charlie, he was getting weaker and he and Mary needed our help more now.  It also was niece Mandy's spring break from her teaching at the Grand Canyon, giving her the chance to come to California to visit her Uncle Chunk, how he loved that!

We spent tons of time just talking, sharing memories and more talking, and crying.  Her visit was good medicine for all of us. And through it all, PK found a bit of time to repaint the cabinets in our kitchen one afternoon, working is often his way of coping.

 It was now late March and our 45th wedding anniversary, a quieter celebration this year at a pizza cafe in Healdsburg, then a pretty ride on a warm evening up and around Fitch Mountain just outside of town.  Spending time with Charlie was all we really wanted to do, but we did want to give them all a break from us being right on top of them all the time, so we took the RV out for a couple of days to the Elks Lodge in Napa, a great location right downtown and yet a really quiet setting. We hadn't been in Napa for probably 25 years so spending time just driving around the valley, stopping in the little towns and one day up to Lake Berryessa.

But in the four days we'd been gone, things had changed. Charlie still loved being outside, and with Paul's help they'd get a heater going in the morning, sit with their coffees and listen to some blues playing in the background on a little speaker. Just being with everyone, waving at his neighbors driving by, sharing beers when someone stopped in for a visit, the days went by. But now we were losing my handsome, life-loving, courageous brother to the hideous cancer.  Our nephew, Lucas and his wife Sherry flew from Hilo, Hawaii to be with him but the days were getting so hard, the disease was taking him. It was time for Hospice to help us and help Charlie's passage through this life to whatever lies beyond.

Charlie died in the early morning of April 7th. In his words, he "launched the planet", but to me I see him riding off on his Harley finding what lies beyond

 this universe of ours. 

It's so very hard to believe this happy younger brother won't share this world we me any longer, but what love and laughter he shared with all of us. As he told me, he's only a thought away and I only need to find the Belt of Orion in the night sky where he's joined our brothers Marcus and Harry forming those three stars. Three amazing men I loved so dearly, gone far too soon. Paul and I will miss all those nights out by the fire pit listening to his favorite tunes, telling stories and just enjoying each others company. How blessed we were to have had the last four summers with the RV parked alongside their home each summer. 

And just a year ago....

We stayed on to help Mary through the next few days, then it was time for us to say good bye and move the RV back in storage up in Ukiah and start the return to our vagabond lifestyle and Foster back on the east coast, knowing that each day is a gift of time with those you love.